Mark Filion - English 11 - Mr. Laven - October 27, 2011
We wait in our desks, waiting for the words “lets go everyone.” As he speaks, we whisper to each other, “lets go to Tim Horton’s.” Then another adds, “lets take our bikes.” We all had a plan. When he said we could go, we ran outside to our bikes. We quickly unlocked them and started biking towards Tim Horton’s. I bolted ahead, feeling like a racecar starting a race. I rushed ahead not thinking of the crosswalk. I slammed on my breaks, only to find out they weren’t very good. I stopped right at the line. No cars were there, so I crossed. We were all together now. We sped down the sidewalk on Main St. We came to a red light. One of my friends didn’t notice and didn’t stop. He almost got hit by a truck. We laughed at him. We continued to speed down the sidewalk. We felt like street racers racing down the street, avoiding all obstacles in our way. We saw Tim Horton’s. We all screeched to a stop. We locked up our bikes and went inside. One of us wanted to buy fourty tim bits. I just sat down at a table, took out my laptop, and started to write. I was working on a short story. We all were, actually. We all started to work on it. I started to write, seeing all the people in the store. There were two women on my left talking. On the right there were some people we knew from school. I checked my word count, only ninety five words. We needed three hundred. I continued to write about the people in the store. There was a man that came into the store limping. I wasnt sure if he was hurt, or if he was diseased. He ordered a coffee and left. I still wondered what was wrong. That thought quickly left me. It was twelve thirty and I had one hundred fifty words. Half done, I kept going. I ran out of ideas. I started to write about my friends writing. They looked puzzled as the tried to write as well. I looked on my friends laptop screen. He wasn’t even doing the project. I laughed to myself. I asked him if hes done, he wasnt. It was twelve fourty so we decided to head back to school. I didn’t really want to go back, but if I skipped would be in big trouble. We decided to take the back alley way. I rushed down the tunnel, a car was coming past and startled me. The car was going pretty fast for in a back alley. I wondered why. We sped down the alley to school. Talking about what we were going to do at lunch. I was going to have lunch, then go to the library, while my two other friends decided to go somewhere else. We got back, locked up our bikes and went inside. I went to my locker to put my things away. I took my things for my next class, and put my things for my recent class away. It was the most fun I’ve had in a long time. I couldn’t wait for another time to just sit, and relax.
We wait in our desks, waiting for the words “lets go everyone.” As he speaks, we whisper to each other, “lets go to Tim Horton’s.” Then another adds, “lets take our bikes.” We all had a plan. When he said we could go, we ran outside to our bikes. We quickly unlocked them and started biking towards Tim Horton’s. I bolted ahead, feeling like a racecar starting a race. I rushed ahead not thinking of the crosswalk. I slammed on my breaks, only to find out they weren’t very good. I stopped right at the line. No cars were there, so I crossed. We were all together now. We sped down the sidewalk on Main St. We came to a red light. One of my friends didn’t notice and didn’t stop. He almost got hit by a truck. We laughed at him. We continued to speed down the sidewalk. We felt like street racers racing down the street, avoiding all obstacles in our way. We saw Tim Horton’s. We all screeched to a stop. We locked up our bikes and went inside. One of us wanted to buy fourty tim bits. I just sat down at a table, took out my laptop, and started to write. I was working on a short story. We all were, actually. We all started to work on it. I started to write, seeing all the people in the store. There were two women on my left talking. On the right there were some people we knew from school. I checked my word count, only ninety five words. We needed three hundred. I continued to write about the people in the store. There was a man that came into the store limping. I wasnt sure if he was hurt, or if he was diseased. He ordered a coffee and left. I still wondered what was wrong. That thought quickly left me. It was twelve thirty and I had one hundred fifty words. Half done, I kept going. I ran out of ideas. I started to write about my friends writing. They looked puzzled as the tried to write as well. I looked on my friends laptop screen. He wasn’t even doing the project. I laughed to myself. I asked him if hes done, he wasnt. It was twelve fourty so we decided to head back to school. I didn’t really want to go back, but if I skipped would be in big trouble. We decided to take the back alley way. I rushed down the tunnel, a car was coming past and startled me. The car was going pretty fast for in a back alley. I wondered why. We sped down the alley to school. Talking about what we were going to do at lunch. I was going to have lunch, then go to the library, while my two other friends decided to go somewhere else. We got back, locked up our bikes and went inside. I went to my locker to put my things away. I took my things for my next class, and put my things for my recent class away. It was the most fun I’ve had in a long time. I couldn’t wait for another time to just sit, and relax.
Mark, there are some interesting beginnings in your composition. Some irrelevant concern over the word count detracts from an otherwise well written series of human observations.
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